Men!

I don't go out on an evening very often. Mainly because I like being at home with my boys and, usually, if there is something happening, I suggest Alan goes out, and I stay in with Samuel. But, on Saturday night, I had 2 options. Firstly, we had some fantastic news that our Best Man and his wife are expecting a baby, and would we like to meet with them for a celebratory meal. They live in Harrogate - about an hour away - so we don't see them very often. Plus, Alan and I don't get chance to go out together very often. Alternatively (and I had forgotten about this) we girls had decided we should leave the men at home with the kids one night and have a girly night instead. As we had arranged a babysitter and I had already agreed to going to Harrogate, I had to turn down the girly night!

We had the full postal address for the restaurant, so we picked up another (male) friend, and left the house in good faith. However, the SatNav didn't recognise the postcode or, at least, it did recognise the postcode, but it was taking us to somewhere in the middle of Harrogate and as "that can't be right", the name of the village was entered into the SatNav, and off we went.

An hour later, we reach the village. There is a pub called "The Jolly Inn", but no "Nelson Inn". So we drive through the village, turn around and drive back through the village, go back the way we came, and take a right, go back again and take a left. No Nelson Inn, so I suggest we go back to the Jolly Inn and ask the people outside where we should be heading. But, no, we couldn't possible do that!

So, into the SatNav goes the postcode. The SatNav asks for which number we are looking for. The options are from 1 to 453. Number 4 is entered (randomly) and we set off. The SatNav tells us we have reached our destination. No Nelson Inn. Number 453 is entered into the SatNav. We turn around and head for our new destination. Guess what! No Nelson Inn. By this time, we are 20 minutes late and my stomach thinks my throat has been cut. So I, calmly, suggest we go into the Shell garage over the road to ask for directions. But, no, we couldn't possible do that!

Someone tries ringing our friend on his mobile. No response!

I am rather agitated now. So, I ask that we stop at the service station and ask for directions, otherwise we spend another half an hour driving round aimlessly.

We, reluctantly, stop at the service station.

The man behind the counter is an Asian man. He has only lived in the area for 2 weeks!

I ask the lady who followed me into the shop. She isn't from round here either. but her fiance is from Harrogate and is outside, filling up his car with petrol. I approach him.

Five minutes later, we have reached our destination.

I should have gone out with the girls!

Ok, ok.........................I'm back!

...............With not alot to say! But hey, will give it a go!

I have been given the chance to go back to work.

The scary thing is...........it's happening!

It looks as though I am going back in January.

I had intended to stay off for a lot longer than this. Perhaps have another baby, see them both into Nursery school, and perhaps beyond. If I am honest, I wanted to be like my Mum. I was 11 when she went back to work. Realistically, I know that can't happen. I have done well to stay off this long. All my friends with children went back when their children were less than a year old. Sam will be 22 months in January! The money pot is running low though, and with cars to replace and holidays to go on, I am the only person to bring in the extra cash.

Since I found out I was likely to be going back, I have been having sleepless nights (not a problem I usually have, unless Sam is having a bad night).

My worries.
1. I haven't worked for 2 years
2. I haven't actually taught a class for 3 years (I did special needs for a year)
3. I haven't taught in an English school for 5 and a half years (the curriculum is very different in Scotland)
4. I have never taught Year 4
5. I haven't a clue where to start teaching Year 4
6. I don't know the curriculum anymore
7. I am afraid of not being supported by colleagues (very likely at this particular school)
8. I am worried about the behaviour of these kids, and wondering whether I will be able to cope
9. I am worried about the planning
10. I am going to miss my baby boy so much

Over the past few years, I have been wondering whether I am cut out for this profession. Having a baby had been my get out clause. But I have done that, and now it looks as though I will be going back.

I am trying to look forward to it, but I feel as though I am stepping into the unknown. I am stepping out of my comfort zone, and I don't do that very well at all.

This is the second time I have been given this chance, though, and I feel as though God is telling me to take it this time.

I hope they are nice to me!

Casualty!

We had our first trip to A&E today.

Samuel was being a little tinker and wouldn't go to sleep despite being unable to keep his eyes open. We had been out with the pushchair, I had sang to him, rocked him, even tried sitting him in the kitchen with the tumble dryer on (well, it's worked before!) I thought I would fool him and see if he would go to sleep with me lying beside him on my bed. Big mistake! Samuel decided he would try and crawl away. He succeeded, which resulted with his head hitting the floor.

He cried, I picked him up and cuddled him, he immediately fell asleep, despite my attempts to keep him awake. So i panicked! After a quick call to good old Mum, we were sitting in A&E within half an hour.

Samuel is fine...just a bruise to the head!

He won't be lying on my bed again. NExt time he's sleepy, we'll be lying on the floor!

A Year On...

My baby boy is 1 tomorrow!

He isn't a baby anymore.

He is a little boy!

I can't believe how fast the last year has gone and then, when I think about everything that has happened in the last 12 months, I can't believe what a year it's been.

This time last year, I was supposed to be at Songsters but, thankfully, I didn't go, as I ended up in hospital at 7pm...10 days earlier than my expected due date! 5 hours later, SAmuel Gordon Tapster arrived! And our lives changed completely.

This last year has been the hardest year I have ever had, but it's been the best! I am so thankful to God for bringing Samuel into our lives. He made us wait...but it was sooooo worth it!

Tomorrow we will have a little birthday party for him so his Grandparents can make a fuss of him. But we think of the people that won't be there...close family who can't be there due to the distance/work commitments, and the people who were there for us 12 months ago when Samuel arrived. We still miss them alot!

Happy Birthday Samuel! Here's to the next 12 months!

Acceptance!

Last week was my birthday! Last night I was putting away my birthday presents and, as I had received some money in the way of cheques, writing out my paying in slip. This got me thinking.

In 2006, on my 27th birthday, I remember someone asking what I wanted for my birthday. I couldn't think of anything, but suggested they gave me money or gift vouchers and I would go and buy myself some clothes. However, I seem to remember saying I needed to lose half a stone first, so would go on a shopping spree once I had lost the pounds (in weight that is).

last year, on my 28th birthday, again I was asked by the same person what I wanted for my birthday. I gave the same response but, as I was 7 months pregnant, suggested I go shopping for clothes once the baby has been born and I was back to my desired weight.

So, that was my 29th birthday last week. What did I ask for...money and gift vouchers. This time saying I would go shopping once I had lost a stone!!!

So, there we have it, 3 years of birthday money (and Christmas money) gone unspent because in that time I haven't reached my goal.

True, I am not putting that much effort into losing the weight (I've just eaten a bag of revels). Should I start putting in the effort, or just accept that this is the size I am!?

A new look!

I've had my hair cut.

I'm not sure about it.

I went into a new salon (as in I've never been before), one of the fashionable, young, trendy hairdressers. I asked for a bob with a fringe.

That's what I've got...kind of!

If I had Dawn's blog skills (cheers Dawn) I might have put a picture on here.

I'm not sure about it (the hair cut, that is)

It's a bit too "hip" for me!

I've never been fashionable in my life. Now I am, I'm not sure I like it.

Hmmmm! How long does it take for hair to grow????

Coincidences?

Someone forwarded me an email today...it was one I have before about 9/11 in which some of those people that should have been in the building at the time of the attack where actually elsewhere, ie. taking their child to kindergarten, getting doughnuts, stopping for a plaster to cover a blister, and how these things weren't just coincidence, but it was God.

The email then went onto say how you might think of someone you haven't seen for a while, and then hear from them out of the blue, or you are looking for an opportunity that suddenly shows itself. None of these are coincidences. It's all God.

As I watched the slideshow, I had a strange feeling!

A couple of weeks ago, as the new term approached and I knew I had to start thinking about going back to work, I spoke to someone about childcare. The person had offered although, when we actually sat down and talked about it, it wasn't as straightforward as I would have liked. However, I let them know I was thinking about going back to work, if they would like to look after Samuel.

The very same day, I had a text message from an old colleague at the school where I used to work. She told me about a job, Mondays and Tuesdays in a Y2 class. Although I wasn't looking forward to going back to work, I knew that this was ideal...2 days a week, in a school with which I was familiar, and with people I knew. I also thought...what a coincidence! Arranging childcare and hearing about a job on the same day!

After speaking to my husband, though, we decided that Samuel was too young for me to go back to work just yet and we are in a fortunate position where I can stay at home with him. So we decided to leave it for a while and wait until Samuel's a bit older.

A fantastic decision on my part as I love being at home with Samuel every day.

However, I can't help but wonder now, have I passed up one of God's opportunities? Or was it that God was in my decision not to go back to work? How do you know? I know it feels right staying at home at the moment...but is that my decision or God's? I just don't know!

Zombie-fied

Why is it that, between the ages of 16 and 24 (ish), I could stay up until the early hours of the morning, whether it be out with friends, watching tv, finishing coursework, and I wasn't affected by it and yet, now, at the tender age of 28 (29 in 17 days), I am utterly exhausted!

To cut a long story short, by 1.45am this morning, not 1 of the 3 inhabitants of our humble abode had been asleep! The cause...teeth! Samuel's teeth to be exact! We have waited for weeks for his top front teeth to come through. One arrived, with quite a lot of discomfort, on Sunday afternoon (Hip, hip hooray!) and I don't think the other one is too far behind!

Today, I sent a text to an old friend who has a baby of a similar age. She suggested AShton and Parsons teething powder. Any of you Mums heard of it and, if so, why has no one told me about it before!

Does it work?

It's hard to tell but, put it this way, this is the first night in over a week that Samuel has gone to sleep of his own accord!

Fingers, toes, hands, arm, legs, feet, crossed that he stays that way!